The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
