I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
