If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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