There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
