I hope mine doesn't look like that
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
