Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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