I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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