I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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