girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
