He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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