I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
