Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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