my phone needs a breathalizer
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
