Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
