I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
