I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
