dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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