I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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