let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
