I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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