belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We talked him into tasing himself.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
