I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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