I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
