Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
