alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
