At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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