Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
