goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
