dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
