So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
