yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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