Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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