tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
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