I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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