Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
