at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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