my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
