Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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