im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
