I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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