Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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