Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
