just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
