She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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