you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
