Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
