is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
