3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
