This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it because I queefed?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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