I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
