I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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