lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
