She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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